I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
