i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
