Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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