it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
