Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
