watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
