Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
