I've blown a few things in my day
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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