i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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