White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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