I wish i was in the wii world.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
