i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
