You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
