That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
