they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
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