Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
