I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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