Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
this hospital has no fireball
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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