I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
