I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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