what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
