I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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