Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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