if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
