tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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