Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
