you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
