that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
