allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
