She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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