is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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