There is no way he is gay with that hair.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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