$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
