Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
