That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
