I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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