her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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