how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
