is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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