They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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