He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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