K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
