I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
