look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
