You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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