Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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