plz talk dirty to me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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