I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
