Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I will die if light touches me.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
