you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
