Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
